


This Path of Mine

by voksen



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voksen/pseuds/voksen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wish to gaze again on such a land, free earth: where a free race, in freedom, stand.<br/>Then, to the Moment I’d dare say: ‘Stay a while! You are so lovely!’</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Path of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steelneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steelneko/gifts).



This month begins like every other: the crisp, over-starched feel of hospital sheets, the smell of antiseptic, the breeze from the open window. She keeps her eyes shut for a few brief seconds, adding to her ever-growing list of things that must and must not be done, then steels herself, opens them, and swings herself out of bed.

Once upon a time - it seems like a story to her now, someone _else's_ story - long before Kyubey and Madoka, when magical girls had been no more to her than a few shows on morning television, she had had a normal life. A normal schedule: school, studies, cram school, practice, sleep, repeat. When she got sick, all of that had ended; her life had stopped, fitted itself around the hospital so she existed in the cracks between doctors and nurses, medicines and procedures.

For a long time now, ever since she'd first realized that this wasn't going to be easy - that the easy routes all ended in failure - she has lived by Madoka. She has a new routine now, and the first steps are always the same. The school transfer paperwork: she's filled it out so many times now that, like the homework she does, she no longer even has to look at the questions. Still, it's necessary; while Madoka might not be in danger from witches at the school, while Mami is there Kyubey is another issue entirely. If she's going to keep Madoka from contracting at all, the way she promised the time before last, she'll need to keep close.

Then there's the hospital discharge papers; those done and signed, she stops in the restroom on the way out, using her magic to heal her eyes (glasses had been a liability in her fights more than once, and changing it hasn't seemed to make the timelines notably worse) and catches a cab home. In six hours, the armory doors at the military base will be open; in twenty-four, Izabel will find her way to the bridge between Mitakihara Middle School and Homura's house and begin to build her barrier; Homura will be there to finish her before someone stumbles across her and is lured into suicide. She knows from long experience that Sakura is a fool - that puella magi are far from knights of justice - but she still tries to avert deaths when she can spare the time. The old Homura would have been horrified at a schedule that revolves around grand theft and killing, she thinks, but it doesn't really matter to her anymore; it has to be done, so she'll do it.

When she arrives at the bridge, Izabel, who is always there, has always been there, is not.

Homura knows she doesn't have the wrong time - she always knows when she is, a side effect of Kyubey's 'gift' - but she checks on her phone anyway, then walks the length of the bridge back and forth with her soul gem held openly in her hand. Izabel still isn't there, though Homura is sure she hasn't done anything differently from the last two times. This is beyond an anomaly; this is _impossible._

The time it takes to get to the Kanames' house isn't long enough for Homura to come up with any ideas that sound plausible, let alone answers. When Madoka's father answers the door, aproned and accompanied by the smell of something delicious cooking, Homura bows but can't manage a smile.

"Excuse me, I'm Madoka's classmate," she says. Will be, have been. It isn't really even a lie. "Can I talk to her?"

He shakes his head 'no' and something freezes inside Homura before he even opens his mouth to say "I'm sorry, she's out studying with an upperclassman this evening. Do you need her cell phone number?"

By the look on his face, her "No, thank you" is a bit too cold, but she doesn't have time to waste worrying about it; she may already, inexplicably, be too late.

Tomoe Mami's apartment has never seemed so far away; when Homura finally reaches it, she arrives, running, just as the two of them come out of the door, both turning to look at her in obvious surprise.

"Hello," Mami says with that politely stonewalling tone of hers, but Homura isn't listening. A white tail is rising behind Madoka's shoulder; a second later, Kyubey's paws appear and he hoists himself up to sit there like a little devil, staring at Homura with wide pink eyes. He blinks, and, as if released from a spell, she tears her eyes away from his and looks down to Madoka's hand, down to the cake box she's holding and the ring on her finger.

Whatever else they have to say is lost in the _shh-click_ of her shield and the rush of time.

 

The bed and the hospital seem the same as always, but Homura doesn't intend to leave anything to chance. If things changed without her last time for some reason, she'll begin by changing them herself: she leaves immediately, leaving paperwork undone and things unprepared, making a quick stop at the local gang hideout - it's closer than the base - to arm herself, then heading straight for Madoka's house. She has no intention of introducing herself this time, though; if whatever went on in her last attempt is still happening, she has to figure out what as soon as possible and adjust her statistics and plans to fit the new patterns. 

A little before midnight, after Homura has been standing hidden watch near Madoka's window for hours, Kyubey appears, a pale smear in the dark shadows of the Kanames' lawn. Homura frowns - he should be with Mami still, and while he's recruited Madoka before, she's never seen him come after her alone. Is this the reason for the change? It seems clear - if Madoka had contracted a day earlier than she was supposed to and she and Mami were out "studying" on Izabel while Homura was preparing, the differences would be all accounted for - but not the reason behind it all.

As Kyubey draws closer, Homura pulls her costume to her and steps out into the open; he pauses mid-step, tilting his head slightly as he looks at her. There's no sign of recognition, not that she'd have expected one even if she'd been able to completely convince himself that Kyubey was changing things on purpose - he's as expressionless as ever.

"I won't let you contract with Madoka," she says flatly.

Kyubey's tail flicks back and forth twice. _Kaname Madoka has great potential_ , he tells her. _She could become a very strong puella magi._

Homura knows it already. Madoka is always the best of them, the strongest, the truest. But it means nothing when the whole game is a trap to begin with, one where Kyubey will always win and the girls will always lose. Madoka had been right: the only way for Homura to save her is to keep her from playing at all.

"It doesn't matter. She won't make the deal."

 _You'd turn down a powerful ally?_ He sounds almost curious, which worries her; how much _does_ he know? He'll hide as much as he can, she's certain of that, but if he follows her like she follows him, it could make things difficult.

Homura moves forward a bit more, putting herself squarely between Kyubey and Madoka's window. "I can fight alone. Leave." 

_Hmm._ He looks from her to the window, then - thankfully - turns tail and goes, loping off until he fades into the darkness. Homura watches the last spot she could make him out in for a long time before she returns to her post by the window.

Ten days later Mami and Sayaka die trying to save Hitomi from Kirsten. Homura, tangled in ribbons and caught behind, is seconds too late to keep Madoka from saying the words - but at least it's the 16th again before Kyubey can finish ripping her soul from her body.

 

The paperwork goes undone again and the yakuza are once again missing their gun stash. This time, though, Homura takes a few minutes out to do a little bit more weapons research; when she finds her way to Madoka's window, her guns are all outfitted with silencers. She'd never bothered before - no sound could find its way out of a witch's barrier, so it was pointless - but now, tonight, she's not hunting witches. Kyubey comes at the same time - that, at least, doesn't seem to be changing - and again, Homura comes out of cover, but this time she doesn't bother with words.

Without Kyubey nearby, keeping Madoka from contracting is easier; keeping her away from witches and puella magi is more difficult even with Mami gone and Kyoko out of the city. Still, Homura somehow manages, trying all the while not to think _maybe this is it_ with a subconscious fear that naming it will keep it from happening.

It isn't really everything she could have wished for - between Homura's extra-careful vigilance and the need to keep Madoka as ignorant as she can, they never really become more than distant friends - but Madoka seems happy enough that it gives Homura strength just to watch her laugh and talk about gossip and schoolwork with their other classmates, to take an empty seat near her during lunch and trade a piece of omelette for some fish. No matter how much she wants to tell her everything, it seems this way is better than anything she's tried before, even if Madoka sometimes seems a bit less confident than Homura is used to. It's better than despair.

The weeks fly by and then it's over; the storm is coming, Madoka and her family are as safe as they can be in a shelter, and Homura stands alone between Mitakihara and the witch. With her sand already more than half used by the time the battle starts, the last bit runs out far too early, leaving her gasping, breathless, helpless; Walpurgisnacht laughs shrilly, flinging Homura from her tenuous grip on a shattered piece of scaffolding with one vicious blast of wind and rain, then turns back to flattening the city.

As she falls, she remembers Kyubey finally bolting away from her, ears flying behind him, leaving her surrounded by fluffy little corpses with as many bullets in him, in _them_ , as times he's made her watch Madoka and the others die, and closes her eyes. Just for a moment, she thinks - if there was anyone left to keep fighting, anyone left to keep Madoka safe, she could almost be happy dying just like this.

 

Homura steps back through time.


End file.
